Steve Townend: a mobile world

I have in recent months become something of a Twitter not prolific but pretty regular about 150 or so. These tend to be musings not too much thought goes into them done in idle moments or when stimulated by something I read or heard spur of the moment things. I would say exactly what twitter is about. I have acquired during this time a pretty small band of followers around 60, although add to that Linked in and Facebook contacts and it can reach a a reasonable amount of people.

Now in my world I have regarded my comments as not very consequential I hoped that those who read them would find them interesting possibly a bit stimulating but nothing more than that. However, I was really spooked this week when a comment I made about the UNITE Union being too big to be healthy for it’s members or the country prompted a response from Barry Mr Unite himself normally locking horns with Boris Johnson he took the trouble to rebuke my observation as nonsense. I responded but that is not the issue what it alerted me to was that although I regarded my twits as almost a confidential intimate conversation with my followers is not that at all I am being monitored.

I find this very uncomfortable but when I think about it I have had several other responses mostly corporate challenging my views. You may regard this as a very powerful opportunity to make your opinions known to almost anyone, however, my feelings are different it turns my trivia into something I should be more serious about and there are consequences. I have a trawled through my twits to see if I would have published them if I had been conscience of the above and in truth I am not sure. If I wanted a job at RBS or Barclays there is probably no point in me now applying there are a few others who will have crossed me off their Christmas list but by the same token there maybe others who will think better of me, so publish and be damned I say.

I am in Madeira, the hotel room in Funchal to pedantic. Madeira is to the middle aged everything that Ibiza is or maybe now was to the young; planet saga. So it probably says a great deal about me and my time of life that it suits me fine, especially as I find one it’s great attributes is that it is clean!

This not my first visit so I knew what to expect it is some years ago now but nothing has changed much. It appears that there has been some attempt to build apartments to tap into the timeshare and holiday homes trade but in truth it looks like a half hearted attempt. Madeira does not really fit the profile, a pretty quite place, without the usual trappings of AngloAmerican culture that blights many a holiday destination. For instance there is a reassuring lack of English signage or advertising disclaiming familiar brands from home. I like that it makes it feel foreign and authentic, Madeira is by no means exotic though which is OK by me I feel comfortable.

Actually, there is one thing that makes me very uncomfortable and I have experienced it here before it is a coincidence because it is by no means unique to Madeira. To my horror on my first day and in a fish restaurant close to the sea, I was seated next to a tank with live lobsters in it. It fixated me for the next hour and half as it had done on the other two occasions I found myself in the same predicament, distracting me entirely for the duration of my stay. My problem is that I have discovered or imagined that lobsters have very expressive faces and they look directly at you with disdain and contempt.

They seem very angry indeed and why wouldn’t they be? I can feel that they are willing me to choke on every mouthful of food and If they were able would jump out of the tank and set upon me. I try to reassure them using telepathy that I never eat lobster and if it were up to me would set them free. I don’t think my discomfiture is unique I vaguely remember an incident of one of the Rolling Stones buying up a tank full of lobsters, unfortunately he released them into fresh water and they died, at least the sentiment was there but alas no consolation to those particular lobsters. I wonder if the story has been passed on from one lobster to another adding to their ill temper.

Enough of lobsters I will be getting nightmares. The other thing that makes me uncomfortable, again, nothing particular to do with Madeira is my fellow Brits sense of what is appropriate to ware in hot climbs, and in particular their devotion to shorts. For some unexplained reason they cannot coordinate shorts and shirt or t-shirt together the resultant look always distinguishes them from their more sartorial counterparts from other countries with the exception of Germany and the US who also seem to have developed the same impediment. I particularly cringe at the “the Gunner Graham” look (for those of you who remember “it ain’t half hot mum”) he was the diminutive soldier in the oversized pith helmet wearing shorts that reached his ankles. The over 40′s really should not ware combat shorts!

That’s it for now I will send another bulletin later in the holiday. I am writing this on an iPad so apologies for any mistakes I don’t find it easy it’s an age thing.

The extradition of a 60-year-old English businessman to the US to be prosecuted for offences allegedly committed by his Company is the stuff of nightmares.  Just imagine being taken out of your comfortable suburban Kentish existence to be thrust into the intensely aggressive and base environment of an US Detention Jail in the middle of the desert to boot, apparently stripped of all that is familiar and represents security in your life, I do!

What makes me particularly uneasy is the fact that the American authorities, as I understand it, were not required to present any evidence to be placed under the scrutiny of the British Courts.  This arrangement was meant to fast track the extradition of suspected terrorists (there is some irony in this see below, and personally I am not sure of that justice is served under this rationale either) not, surely, to give the US carte blanche to extract British Citizens from their homes on the pretext that they might have perpetrated a crime against US Law.

The inequity of this is compounded, as Mr Tappin himself pointed out himself by the treatment of Abu Qatada, who the European Court says cannot be sent packing, as his safety cannot be guaranteed in Jordon where he came from.   To me I cannot believe that a white, middle–class, 60 odd year old Englishman is going to  be accepted in to any self respecting jail gang, unless in the interim he has managed to bulk himself up, shave off his hair and have “the enforser “ tattooed on his forehead, (and seeing him set off in his blazer and pale slacks I guess not).   Therefore, is his safety any more guaranteed than that of the despicable Abu?

I have every confidence in the American Justice system, however, and, I may be naive but I would like to understand why Mr Tappin and others that have been or are about to be in similar circumstances cannot be tried in the UK and if found guilty subject to confinement in their own country.

What makes this all too real for me is the fact that I am a Director of a number of Companies and in theory, having Corporate Responsibility could find myself in stuck with the US Authorities should one of my colleagues transgress against American Law.  I have, actually come close; I was consulting for a Bank in the US who unfortunately issued Prepaid Cards to an International Gang with the result that the FED’s came down on them like a ton of bricks.

Nearer to home a Company I was a Director of, again a Bank, mistakenly, laundered some money for the Russian Mafia the FEDs became very interested and if we had come under their jurisdiction would have certainly felt the full force of their displeasure.

I wonder, if like me, how many Directors are reconsidering their US aspirations based on the risk of ending up being a bitch for a Jail Gang Leader!   I wish Mr Tappin well and hope that his case is heard as soon as possible and if proven innocent home very soon.

The 11^th May 1985 the date of the Bradford Fire at Valley Parade Football Stadium, 56 people died and over 250 were injured.  I mention this because I was there not only was I there but I was seated in Block G approximately 5 rows back from where the smoke from the fire under the stand was first noticed.  I was extremely lucky to get out alive.

There was at the time a series of pictures published in the local paper (The Bradford Telegraph and Argus) that detailed the evacuation to the back of the stand.  In each frame you can make me out almost the last to move with my two companions my best friend and my brother-in-law.

Ushered to the back where, unfortunately, all the doors that would enable an orderly mass departure were locked, most of the people to escape took the initiative and where they were able clambered over the seats on to the pitch or ran down the isles (as did my best friend).  This was not available to some as they were trapped in the middle of the crowded corridor pressed in at either side.

It was made more difficult (nightmarish) because once the flames hit the roof it flashed down the length producing a thick blinding smoke that rolled back onto and enveloped the ill-fated crowd at once disorientating and chocking them.

To break free over the seats I would have had to find a gap to my left and there wasn’t one so I turned right, bizarrely, making for the toilets I don’t why?  I ended up pressed against one of the looked doors.  At that moment I fleetingly thought “I might not make this” and frantically, no, more panicked, I set too with my shoulder to bash at the door.

The lock did not give way but a panel that I must of kicked, but in truth I don’t remember, crumpled and I was able scramble out followed by my brother-in-law but no one else.  The weird thing was that I felt that I was walking into flames as my view was obscured by smoke the smoke itself was searing hot.

I remember thinking whilst I was working at the door that the weight of people behind me would ensure that it would break, but there was no one pressing against me. It did not register why at the time but it certainly bothered me afterwards.  The other disturbing thing that I did notice at the time was, when I had recovered a little, I looked back over my shoulder at the hole in the door and it was filled with a wall of flame.

I know this is not my usual fare but I wanted to describe a little what it is like to be in the middle of an emergency because I have heard a great deal of uninformed tosh and negative comment above those involved in the recent cruise ship disaster.

I have difficulty remembering of all of my experience but I do know though that self-preservation was paramount in my mind. I recall  that I paused to hold the crowd back to let a mother and her son out from their position, but that was my first and last act of selflessness.  I do not believe I pushed any one out the way or stamped over anybody to save myself and I don’t recollect everything, and I cannot say that I would not have.

The paradox is that once I had saved myself I was then quite prepared to take a risk to help others placing myself back in danger.  It was like once the basic human instinct had been sated I could then rationalise and make a conscience decision.

My hope is in publishing this is that you may in future pause before jumping to conclusions, making judgements on people in situations  you cannot imagine, believe me.

Mobile Banking, I reckon that I have been immersed in this damn subject as long as anyone on the planet.  When I began to consider its significance there really was very little going on at all.

So, I feel as qualified as anybody to be able to define what mobile banking is.  However, my definition appears to be more exacting than others and as a result, in my view, customers are being misled and sold short.

For the majority MB (as we in the know like to call it!) is simply a smart phone application that provides the ability to look up your bank balance on your mobile/cell phone and maybe view latest transactions.  An even lazier solution is supplying customers with just the ability to access their Internet banking account from the mobile, which is always an awkward process and displays data in a format that is inappropriate for the mobile phone.

The mobile phone is a channel the same as the Internet and branch banking are channels.  It has its individual features, its place and its disadvantages just as all the others have and, it is not limited in comparison. There are two main attributes for the customer convenience and instant gratification any mobile solution that does not recognise and exploit this is just a token effort and does not deserve to be called a mobile banking offer.

Convenience means speedy access to information and execution that is presented in a way that needs minimal effort and grasped quickly.  Instant gratification is the ability to view the data in front of you and use it by taking immediate action, transacting, making the routine management of finances less intrusive on people’s time.

In my mind in order to legitimately claim to offer mobile banking a bank has, as minimum, to enable customers, to look up current balances (a number only show previous day) review latest transactions, the ability to set alerts, transfer money between accounts, pay bills and to change account details.   I also believe that to meet the convenience requirement customers should be able to view all their financial arrangements in one place, known as aggregation.

Anything less is just a pale imitation and isn’t mobile banking at all

I now find that I have to say this in a whisper; “I have been a Banker for over thirty years”. However, in that time and in common with the vast majority of my colleagues I have never received a £1m bonus or anything approaching that, I have not worked in investment banking and never knowingly fleeced a customer or the Tax Payer, for that matter.

I have always been rather proud that despite every indication in my youth that “ I would never amount to much!” and certainly never gain employment in a respectable profession, I did and have done rather well at it.  The reason why a flibbertigibbet such as myself stuck at this apparently most dry of professions is that I simply enjoy it, in my view it is not dry or dull at all.  I have acquired during my time a vast number of roles in a variety of disciplines (with mixed success it has to be said), met some wonderful people and actually had quite a laugh.

It pains me then that a small number of miscreant, greedy and self serving individuals has, it seems, condemned the reputation of banks and bankers to somewhere between a South American despot and a News of the World reporter.

I feel the need to redress this somewhat, don’t be put off I have no intention here of being an apologist for the actions of big banks and the catastrophic consequences.  What I do want to do though is shed a different light on banking.  I have for some time contemplated writing a book using banks as the backdrop for a ramble around a compilation of stories, experiences, facts, personalities and events that I hope will illuminate and entertain.

Why I am telling you this is?  Well, firstly, this is my News Years resolution and I believe by putting it in writing here, committing to you, it will increase the likelihood of me completing the task (actually starting it!).   Secondly, I would really appreciate your help.  I have not yet approached a publisher so if you know of someone who would be interested I should be very grateful for the referral.

More importantly, as the key will obviously be the quality of the material, I will need to do a great deal of research.  So if you know of any stories of a quirky, amusing or interesting nature about banks, people who worked in them or anything for that matter remotely connected to a bank, banker or money (it does not need to be UK centric either) I would be extremely grateful if you could send me the details however brief.  Please send them to stevetownend@btinternet.com or alternatively, those who know me well enough to have my phone number give me a call

Many thanks

I hate to start the New Year off by having a go but I can’t contain myself.   I have listened to David Cameron on the BBC speaking about Executive Pay and suggesting that he will be legislating in the Queens Speech to ensure that powers will made available to Shareholders to regulate pay against performance and frankly it has got my dander up (careful missus!)

I certainly welcome his comments about cronyism, which together with the “Old Boy” network remains endemic and plagues the higher echelons of British Business but there is little else in my view to recommend it.  If I am being totally cynical (which I am) it plays very much like an attempt to assuage the rise in discontent on this subject whilst at the same time avoiding any radical change.

The fundamental issue is that Business Executives are already too concerned at the views of their Shareholders to the detriment of the other stakeholders in any business; the people that work there and the customers.

What this means is that more often than not the context for making decisions is ensuring the maintenance of dividends and profits.  This encourages short-term (and weak) strategies to keep Executives in their roles and sustain their bonus’s, with employees and customers taking a back seat.  Eventually “Chickens come home to roost” (more appropriately Turkey’s !) and this becomes unsustainable. “Exhibit 1 Your Honour, the Banks!!

Let me illustrate.  How many CEO’s do you think will have the courage to say to their shareholders “ I am sorry Guys we are going to cut the dividend this year because we need to invest in the infra-structure to secure our future and as a result profits will be down for the next two years”? Bear in mind as most CEO’s last only three years it is asking a lot for them to prepare the ground for their Successor!

Additionally, what do you think the decision would be for Executives presented with a scenario to keep up or improve customer services that in the short term will add costs to the business or place customer service quality at risk but cut costs?  Your right they put their call centre into India!!

Just so you don’t think I am being simplistic .  I witnessed fairly recent a situation at a Divison of a big Bank (and was left to deal with the consequences) where the training budget was scraped, the convenient logic being that the required knowledge could be passed on by Team Leaders.  As a result the subsequent deterioration in standards manefested in losses to the Bank that far outweighed any savings.  A real example of false economy brought about by the need to meet targets to secure an annual bonus payment.

My solution is to empower all the stakeholders in determining Executive pay and bonus’s.  Ensuring long-term sustainability of the Company and that performance is measured against a matrix that is not just simply about returns for shareholders.